Here’s for all the passengers out there: Top 5 Reasons Why Being a Passenger Means You’re a Real Rider and Top 5 Reasons Why it ROCKS to be a Passenger!
Top 5 Reasons Passengers Are Riders, Too
1. We, Too, Know That Bug Guts Taste Sour
In fact, passengers don’t have the luxury of seeing a big juicy slow bug coming. Instead, we take it smack in the forehead, the mouth, the cheek, etc in full force as the rider dodges to the side with Matrix-like reflexes. The passenger and bug are seldom so lucky.
2. Ass Pains are Universal
If your ass is sore, chances are good our ass is sore, and has been sore for the last 150 miles thanks to that oh-so-sleek-but-thin-enough-to-feel-the-bolts-through low profile seat you insisted on having so the bike would look cool.
3. Road Grime Sticks to Makeup
You know the road is dirty. So do we. We don’t even need a mirror to tell us how filthy our face is, the stunned looks from other women in the ladies room at the first gas stop say it all.
4. We Also Have to Fit Our Belongings in a 13” x 20” Space
You might even say we have to make larger sacrifices when it comes to getting four days worth of personal items into one saddlebag. We roll, reuse, and wear wrinkled with the best of them.
5. When the Weather is Bad Enough to Hunker in an Outhouse, We’re Right There Beside You
Passengers get wet just like riders, freeze just like riders, our boots fill just as fast, and our raingear looks just as dorky. When you’re cowering in a public toilet along ID-55 as the storm thrashes by, it suddenly doesn’t seem to matter whether you were riding on front or on back.
1. You Can Just Chill
I know riders have a myriad of things to pay attention to. There’s speed limits (whoa, did we just pass a cop?!), road conditions, road hazards (a.k.a. other drivers), weather, animals, a passenger shifting her weight, and so on. Passengers have to focus on… oh, none of that (provided you trust your rider completely). In fact, with the right rider, the only thing that has to be on a passenger’s minds is, “sack of potatoes, sack of potatoes, be a sack of potatoes….”
2. Freedom to Gaze
This point really could be a footnote to my last point. As a passenger, you can stare, I mean really stare, at the passing landscape. You can soak it in, wave to it with both hands, snap a picture…. You never have to take your eyes off the scenery rushing by, not even to watch the road.
3. Windshields & Weather Blocks
The back of a bike is the perfect place to ride on the freeway or get caught in a hailstorm. Passengers can hunker down behind the rider, a perfect human shield from wind, dust, rain, hail, whatever the weather throws our way. We don’t have to keep our eyes open nor our hands straight out in front and two feet apart. We can curl up, bury our face, and weather the storm fairly comfortably, all things considered.
4. Equipment (or lack thereof)
Being the passenger means you can get away with certain riding gear no-nos. Forgot your gloves? Put your hands in the rider’s hand pockets. Don’t have chaps? Not really a concern; the rider’s knees catch most of the small rocks. Sunglasses suck? No need to stop at the next gas station and try on every $4 pair they have. Tuck your chin and don’t look up. No big deal.
5. Riding Two Up is the Second Best Couple’s Activity
There truly is nothing better than feeling the slowly cooling summer wind on your face as you ride by Idaho farmland and mountains; the crisp chill that springs out of nowhere when water is close by, the subtle mist from a nearby sprinkler or rapid, watching the moving shadow of two people sitting close stretch across the yellow line and along the roadway. As a passenger, wrapping your arms tight around the waist of your rider and breathing in his soft fragrance is both comforting and exhilarating. No matter how many kids a couple has, how many bills are piling up, how stressful life has become, a ride together can instantly transport you back to that carefree and amorous time when it was just you two.
Here’s to the passengers: the sack of potatoes, the back seat rider, the sleeper, the saddlebag hog, and the sqirmer. Cheers!
